This is a hot topic in the news and on YouTube right now, and for some reason I can't stop watching the videos or reading the articles.
The purpose of this post is not to share an opinion or take sides. Transgender people are people. Until I have a reason not to, I trust this group of people on the feelings that they express. I hope and pray the Christian community will address these issues in an appropriate manner and far better than we did homosexuality at first. I hope we have learned to treat everyone with love and respect. (I guess I just kinda shared some opinion, didn't I?)
Let me be clear, I am not transgender. I briefly considered that my obsession with watching videos about transgender people was some sort of subliminal message of feelings I had been repressing. But I'm certain it is not. I was born a female, and have always felt like a female. And for that, I feel lucky. Never thought I would say that.
So why it is that I have been staying up till 2 am every night learning the stories of so many transgender people? Let's do what I do best - analyze myself.
It could likely be curiosity, and that is definitely part of it. It's something new, and I want to be informed. Furthermore, I think this is particularly important for myself as a future physician. If I have a transgender patient, I hope they will feel comfortable with me caring for them.
But it means much more to me. The truth is, I really feel like I can relate to the feelings these people are having. I know what's it's like to have inner turmoil. And I know what it's like to feel like you are alone in that turmoil and that nobody would ever even begin to understand if you tried to share. And then there's that hopeless belief that absolutely nothing can ever make it go away.
So many of these transgender people have experienced deep pain on their journeys. Pain that they have felt they have to keep secret because it just wouldn't make sense to anyone else. They wish they could change a certain aspect of themselves, but feel stuck. It's just part of who they are.
For far different reasons, that's how I feel as an HSP. I'm constantly overwhelmed by every detail I encounter in life. To the point that it seems ridiculous the things that bring me turmoil. I'm afraid no one can understand my feelings, so I've kept them a secret. I wish I could change my high sensitivity, but I can't. It's just part of who I am.
I have been intentionally vague to avoid getting wrapped up in details and missing the point. If you are an HSP, you understand.
I've found this is also true of how I can relate to people with depression and other mental illnesses. Something in me just resonates with them. Being an HSP is not a mental illness; but there are certain aspects to loosing control of your own mind and feelings that are constant with those of mental illness or gender dysphoria. No matter how hard you try, you can't make yourself think or feel the way you want or the way that believe you are supposed to feel.
I hope I have not minimized what transgender people are going through. That was not my purpose. Far more aspects of our individual journeys are very very different. But I think I've seen enough videos at this point to say I'm confident in the few correlations I expressed here.
Do any other HSPs feel similar in how they can relate to transgender people or people with mental illness? I've kept this blog a secret to keep my secrets, well, secret. But I'm hoping people come across it. If you do, could you just comment on an article you can relate to or find interesting? I've said before that I am happy if no one ever finds this blog. And that is still true. But if someone does, I would certainly like to know about it.
